Crazy?

I've been on this long road of self discovery. A long the way many doors and insights have opened for me. I grew up being an abused child, who ran away from home at age 13 years old. I've been to many rehabs and group homes and got my life together in my teenage years and began to live the so called "normal" life. I had my first son at 20 and my second son at 23. I was working as an office manager in FL, and married my childhood crush. We were together 15 years and married for 7. I thought I was breaking the cycle of my family history (which I was in some ways). But looking back I knew there was more to life than the life I was living, so I divorced my husband and moved back home to NH and became a to live as a single mother of two lively boys and again began to struggle for survive, something I realized I was way to used too. But I did it anyway. I worked my way up the corporate ladder thinking I was doing the "right thing" by my sons. I worked 80 hours a week and tried to be a mother and now a newly single person tring to find a new partner. Looking back I realized how crazy this life style really was. The rat race was catching up to me and I was only 27 years old.

Finally, I met my soul mate and now husband of 7 years, which I'm so grateful for. With his support I began to realize my passion was talking to people and writing. I knew I could go no further in the corporate world without a college degree, but I also knew I deserved more. so I became a Realtor two years ago.

Boy, has this opened a whole new world for me. Becoming a Realtor is the best thing I ever did. Not so much for the career, even though that's important too. but mainly because it's forced me to begin this life long journey of personal development and growth. It's opening up a whole new world for me. Once I realized my passion of reaching out to others through writing I became a published author almost overnight. I've connected with like minded woman who are so in touch with their inner self's that it's mind boggling. Then I too start to try this mediating thing and yoga practice and visualizing my dreams that all these woman were incouraging me to do. The next thing I know I"m beginning to feel this cool good feeling in me at all times.

Because I'm enjoying this feelings so much, I begin to read more and more, and more personal growth books. I found Wayne Dyer and Jack Canfield. the Secret, Abraham, aspire mag. and Hay House Radio and I start thinking, I want to receive messages too. I believe that anyone can receive messages. I believe everything these experienced people are telling me and all of the sudden one day I begin to write and journal my thoughts and I worked out all the noise in my head, which I now new was my "drunk monkey" of trained behavior that you should always be thinking and talking instead of just "being". I kept practicing quieting the noise and I began to hear words that I didn't create. It feels like they come from the back of my neck and base of my head. it's a cool and interesting thing. I know it's not me and sometimes when I read the messages back I feel like I'm reading them for the first time even though I witnessed the writings. It's very interesting. But up until this point I've only shared this with my husband.

Finally, I attend a Love, Light, and Laughter seminar through aspire magazine where I connected with 300 hundred other woman, whom are messagers and receivers of the spirits and angels and their vibrations are so high, that an amazing thing happened to me. I realized that I"m not crazy, this really is truly happening to me, which by the way I wanted!

Now I want to share these messages in case they help other woman. I"m really new at this so at times you'll hear them reassuring me that I"m not crazy, which is kind of funny now.

So anyway long story gone longer, I thought I would use blogging to journal and share these messages for all those who seek this shall find it.

Please share through comments if you too are on this amazing journey of finding your "I am" in you.

blessings,