Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Power of Forgiveness - It's an inside Job

True forgiveness is not about bells and whistles and happy endings. It’s not about demanding another to forgive you or for them to ask for your forgiveness. True forgiveness is something words can only begin to descript.

When the power of forgiveness enters your soul there is no need to do, think, or say anything. When true forgiveness consumes your heart and soul words of the ego are no longer necessary. It’s a beautiful thing.

If you’re asking for forgiveness then you haven’t forgiveness yourself, if you demanding forgiveness from another that you still haven’t forgiven yourself. To me, forgiveness not something to be had, you become healed when you let go of what ills you on the subject. It’s like one day your carry a bag of rocks and your arms start to hurt so you drop the bag of rocks to free your arms. But you walk around complaining about the hurt the bag of rocks caused your arms. Did you really drop the bag of rocks? No. When you drop the bag of rocks lift your arms up in the air and proclaim Alleluia, step over the rocks, and tell no one. Now you truly dropped the bag of rocks. Forgiveness is the same thing.

Since, no one in the universe is responsible for your feelings; but you. How can you forgive another for the feelings you created yourself on the subject? You can’t. You can only forgive yourself. Once you forgive yourself and your self inflicted punishment is dropped like the bag of rocks and you go back to believing your deserving and worthy of love and joy has forgiveness truly happened for you.

The power comes from within. No one ever really needs to forgive another or be forgiven by another; it’s an inside job. If you stay true to whom you are and always speak your truth then forgiveness will never be necessary, because you won’t allow someone else to control your feelings.

Recently, I experienced a perfect example of this truth. I felt that a good friend of my hurt my feelings and instead of confronting her about it or speaking my truth at the time, by saying “hey that just hurt.” I stuffed the feelings down inside my ego, mind, and physical bodies so I could replay the events later really become more and more and more hurt by them. Within days I was no longer talking to her it hurt so much and before I knew it weeks had gone by with me ignoring her all the while replay these events at least once a day. Finally, she confronted me and asked if everything was all right or was I upset about something. At that moment the pain had grown so much I couldn’t control myself and I let it all out in a very hurtful manner. She was stocked. She had no idea those comments she made that day effected me the way they did. How could she I didn’t tell her and she’s not a mind reader. To her she was only kidding around and didn’t mean anything by them and thought I was laughing with her. She now was crying and upset because I made her believe she had hurt me, when in truth I hurt myself. I took these little comments and replayed them in my mind until I created such a large painful movie of events in my mind that the victim (me) was so pained she couldn’t go on. I let this event control my thoughts and feelings for weeks before I lashed out at her in pain. had I just been true to myself at the time and said to her; that hurt. None of this mess would have happened. What a waste of energy. She did apologize to me, but later I prayed on this apology and was thinking to myself “why did she apologize for something she truly didn’t do?

It doesn’t make sense anymore. We walk around demanding forgiveness from others for feelings we created in our own selves. When one asks for forgiveness what does it really mean? And when one forgives what does that mean?Forgiveness to me is an omission of guilt. Guilt is from the feeling of hurting someone else feelings, right or doing something "wrong" in the eyes of another? Well, I had an awakening in consciousness from this event with my friend. Someone else is not responsible for how you feel, so if someone hurts your feelings whose fault is it, really? I'm beginning to believe it's yours or mine in this example.If we fall victim to someone or feel someone has "wronged" us in some way, than it's us feeling bad and feeling lower levels of energy. If we feel "wronged" than it's because we didn't speak OUR TRUTH! not that they hurt us. When you speak your truth there is no such thing as a victim. It wouldn't be allowed. If you allow it, then it's you who should be forgiving yourself.The true power of forgiveness is becoming conscious to this truth. The truth that only the oneself can truly be forgiven and nothing on the outside makes any difference at all.