Truth

My long time goal since I began this spiritual journey was to find my truth. In order to do this I thought I needed to begin searching for all the "right answers" about life. I needed to gather all my believes and have them ready to present to others when needed. So, every chance I got I would tell others what I really thought about them and how I saw things in the world. Because of course, the way I saw things was obviously the right way and if everyone around me saw it my way their lives would be better. At the time, when this happened I received validation within myself that I was "speaking" my truth. But I've realized at this point in my growth that speaking with words and expressing myself outwardly toward others and fighting against their opinions and ideas has nothing to do with truth at all. The truth is.... that was my ego making me believe it was truth. My need to be right, and the need to make others see my way was the "right" way was all ego thinking. And even though this was a good truth to be aware of this was not the truth I was seeking.

Then I began to understand truth to be accepting others for what they are, but allowing my own voice to be heard and not attaching myself to the outcome of others. Then, I read somewhere that what others think of me is none of my business anyway, this really resonated with me and I began to believe this and I added this to my truth , which in-turn reduced the eye of the ego a little. So my truth at this point was using my voice to express myself in my way and not attaching to outcomes, and what others think of me is not my business. So at this point I was gathering and building with ideas of others of what I thought my truth should be... then an amazing awakening happened....

I was reading in my Astrology book on North Nodes, (I'm a Sag. NN) which to my amazement my natal chart was already designed with me finding and seeking my truth within it at my birth. Which meant to me that this search for my truth was all part of my spiritual makeup for growth in this life time. The light bulb went off in my head when I read that "truth" was an energy of it's own.....Energy! Interesting..... this thought changed everything in one moment for me.....Energy, Truth is Energy, my Energy...

Now, I've changed my thoughts completely on what truth means to me. It's amazing to me what one new thought can do to a human beings prospective. Now speaking and finding my truth means continuing to make decisions about who am I? Because if truth is an energy, than that means to own the energy I must "be the energy" "to be the energy" "I must become one with it" So the question now is "What is it?" Well I imagine it can be whatever I say it is, but whatever I say it is I must be able "walk the talk" of it or I will not continue to own it. The energy of truth is something each one of us creates as our own space of reality of ourselves and what we reflect or give off of us toward others...but once you create your energy of truth it's forever created in pure energy, so if you don't own it, and be it, it will be attracted to those that will. So you can give your energy away if you don't walk the talk or own it. Finding out that truth is energy is actually a very exciting thought process for me, because for me it means it's something I can create within myself and not something I need to "find" after all..

The hardest part of this creation of energy truth is being able to own it. To walk the talk, to be what I set out to be and not allow my ego mind to give away my newly created energy of truth because of a laziness of the mind and earthly distractions. The creation has now been begun and the owning it has formed. As the Journey begins, I'm hopeful to discover many more light bulbs that will bring me to the center of my energy truth.

See you on the path.